Friday, January 7, 2011

religion, or: i really hope God is as funny as Ricky Gervais and David Sedaris put together

did i mention i teach Sunday School now?

{please hold your laughter/applause/nostril-clearing snorts for after the post, thank you}

tomorrow is Saturday, and seeing as how i am slated to teach Sunday School the following day, i need to prepare. and by 'prepare', i mean, reread 19 times what the church director has emailed me my lesson would be to teach, and then look it up in my children's Bible i bought at Borders 3 weeks ago. With a coupon.

the truth of the matter is that i have no idea about verses and lessons and who are these Galatians? (are they Martians made from apples? again: I DON'T KNOW.) but what i do know is that while my church is full of some churchy-types who might not appreciate me using God and profanity in the same word space, my church holds the majority on free-thinking, wear-jeans-to-service, 'so Bob, you decided on the new 7 series?, gee-your-hair-smells-terrific, kind of folk. {i made the last part up, but i used to be in advertising and i think Andrew Jergens made 5 gazillion dollars off of the under thirty female set with that slogan. go A.J.}

in the midst of all of the funny i try to bring, i feel the need to lend some personal truth to this blog thing i'm doing. so here it is: i'm an Episcopalean, folks. i like church. i haven't had a two-sided conversation with God (yet), but i'm hoping my online status will boost those chances. i think that a person is allowed to swear and be wrong and be deemed largely unacceptable to others, but that God still thinks you're pretty okay, given the state of the world. and the fact that, well, he made us all (see: Rosanne Barr, circa 1990 after screeching the National Anthem). if that's not proof, then go call Indiana Jones.

and for all of you eye-rollers out there, i'm as surprised as anyone that i get to teach Sunday School, what with all of the, er, um, mischief i caused well through my high school years  early thirties.

this blog isn't to convert anyone, but you should know that i do have a moral compass. and sometimes being funny is more important to me than doing right by everyone else. {because i've tried that, and - yes? you in the back? IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!}


so i feel better now. now that you know a little more about me. i'm just a girl who uses humor and writing to unload some of the weight that the real world oh-so-handsomely provides for all of us.

**author's note: i also love church because of my dad. and he, i believe, because of Eloise. i am grateful to belong to a family that found God a loooooooong time before me and stuck it out with me until i found my own place.

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